Life is a series of Deadlines
For once I am not being political here, this is a very philosophical blog on my feelings of the rushed feeling I get from living my life as a series of deadlines. This is just something I've wanted to write about for a while...
Sometimes I wonder how people go through life without ambition. Even when I was a child, I used to have dreams of where I could go and always set goals for myself. Unfortunately, this isn't really the case with most people. Sure, they have pipe-dreams of being rich and famous, but how any people actually try and do something about achieving these dreams? I think the evidence for this is how many people purchase lottery tickets and how many get-rich-quick schemes can be found during late-night television. Nobody has a long-term goal anymore, they only live month-to-month or year-to-year. Even when people have goals, most don't really follow through in seeing those goals become reality.
I've seen this in a few different forms, when I was a student in Public School, in college, living in San Diego and coaching kids. When I was in public school, I was surrounded by kids who had no ambition or drive for anything other than having a good day. They didn't even consider tomorrow, as today was all they could see. This short-sightedness is just another form of ignorance to me, as I feel that knowing where I am going is just as important as where I am and where I've been. I had already started looking at college when I was in 5th grade because I saw my sister going through the process and wanted to make sure that I had my options when the time came. Most of my classmates at Burlingame didn't even consider where they were going to college (if at all) until junior or even senior year. If I set a goal, I know what I need to work towards, even if I don't always reach it. Setting goals may lead to the failure to reach it, but you can't fail if you don't try and failure is key to growing as a person. If you never fail at anything, you're just not trying hard enough.
When I moved out to Pacific Beach, I met a lot of people, but most of them were basically the same. There is a stereotype of the PB people, and it's pretty much true. You have people approaching 30 who are still living in trashed houses with 3 roommates, go out every Taco Tuesday, College Night Wednesday, Cheap Drink Thursday and of course on Friday and Saturday too. If there's a game on Sunday night, they'll be at the bar to watch it too. Sometimes I wish I could still be like that, like the 2 or 3 semesters in College where I let loose and forgot my responsibilities. But then I look at myself and think "I'm almost 25 and I'm still so far away from where I'd like to be at this stage in my life". It's as if I am living on a series of deadlines, and I see the major pending deadline of death sitting ahead of me. Time is limited, and we have less time on this planet than we sometimes realize. I have goals related to a career, family, and just personal development. I don't see the drinking buddy relationship as a worthwhile one, as the only thing keeping you together as friends is alcohol. PB bars bore me, it's nothing but a bunch of vapid people out to get drunk for a night of mild fun. Even in my days of heavy binge drinking while living in New Orleans, I never found that getting trashed brought me anything but miscomfort. It certainly didn't make me get those gorgeous women I wanted, all it did for my sex life was hook me up with appallingly unattractive girls who I only talked to because I was intoxicated.
One-night stands are like masturbation. Except in a one nighter you have the danger of your hookup being diseased (with Herpes, the Clap or Insanity), obsessive, impregnated or they might just rob your house. What's the point if you two will never see each other again? The funny thing is that most of these people who do the whole one-night stand thing are adamantly opposed to online dating even though you really know nothing about the person you meet at the bar to take home and screw. How many healthy and lasting relationships have you known that started during a drunken encounter at PB Bar and Grill? These girls who meet guys at those bars always complain about how they never meet nice guys...um...you think that the nice guys are the ones who are approaching you and getting you drunk to bring you home? Nope...they are the ones who are at home on Taco Tuesday working on their next promotion at work or that paper on the History of German Democracy.
Since when is 25 the new 21 and 31 the new 25? Just because we live longer doesn't mean we should delay our professional and personal development for an additional 5 years. Then again, it does make it easier for those of us who are career-oriented. I am the youngest person in my office, and despite that, I am working on my licensing exams before my boss has even tried and she is 37. I just don't understand how people can be satisfied where they are when there's a way up higher. In my industry all it takes to get promoted is to take an exam related to a specific area of the industry, but there are so many here who've been working here for years and haven't even tried. It's not about money, it's about a challenge to yourself. When you're 75 you might look back on your life and say: "I wish I could've taken that promotion test when I was 25...or I wish I could've traveled the world" if you don't realize that the older you get, the harder it is for things to change. If you wait till you're 31 to start your career, you'll end up far below where you'd be if you started at 25. That 6 year difference might make it possible for you to retire 10 years earlier while you're still young enough to enjoy your time.
People who don't set goals for themselves never accomplish anything of worth. Things don't fall into your lap, you're not Prince Harry or Paris Hilton. Paris didn't become rich because she was famous, she got famous because she's rich. Try setting a deadline for yourself like: by 2007 I will have passed at least 3 licensing tests. You may not make it, but if you have that pending deadline, it might just motivate you to get more diligent. How can it hurt?
Sometimes I wonder how people go through life without ambition. Even when I was a child, I used to have dreams of where I could go and always set goals for myself. Unfortunately, this isn't really the case with most people. Sure, they have pipe-dreams of being rich and famous, but how any people actually try and do something about achieving these dreams? I think the evidence for this is how many people purchase lottery tickets and how many get-rich-quick schemes can be found during late-night television. Nobody has a long-term goal anymore, they only live month-to-month or year-to-year. Even when people have goals, most don't really follow through in seeing those goals become reality.
I've seen this in a few different forms, when I was a student in Public School, in college, living in San Diego and coaching kids. When I was in public school, I was surrounded by kids who had no ambition or drive for anything other than having a good day. They didn't even consider tomorrow, as today was all they could see. This short-sightedness is just another form of ignorance to me, as I feel that knowing where I am going is just as important as where I am and where I've been. I had already started looking at college when I was in 5th grade because I saw my sister going through the process and wanted to make sure that I had my options when the time came. Most of my classmates at Burlingame didn't even consider where they were going to college (if at all) until junior or even senior year. If I set a goal, I know what I need to work towards, even if I don't always reach it. Setting goals may lead to the failure to reach it, but you can't fail if you don't try and failure is key to growing as a person. If you never fail at anything, you're just not trying hard enough.
When I moved out to Pacific Beach, I met a lot of people, but most of them were basically the same. There is a stereotype of the PB people, and it's pretty much true. You have people approaching 30 who are still living in trashed houses with 3 roommates, go out every Taco Tuesday, College Night Wednesday, Cheap Drink Thursday and of course on Friday and Saturday too. If there's a game on Sunday night, they'll be at the bar to watch it too. Sometimes I wish I could still be like that, like the 2 or 3 semesters in College where I let loose and forgot my responsibilities. But then I look at myself and think "I'm almost 25 and I'm still so far away from where I'd like to be at this stage in my life". It's as if I am living on a series of deadlines, and I see the major pending deadline of death sitting ahead of me. Time is limited, and we have less time on this planet than we sometimes realize. I have goals related to a career, family, and just personal development. I don't see the drinking buddy relationship as a worthwhile one, as the only thing keeping you together as friends is alcohol. PB bars bore me, it's nothing but a bunch of vapid people out to get drunk for a night of mild fun. Even in my days of heavy binge drinking while living in New Orleans, I never found that getting trashed brought me anything but miscomfort. It certainly didn't make me get those gorgeous women I wanted, all it did for my sex life was hook me up with appallingly unattractive girls who I only talked to because I was intoxicated.
One-night stands are like masturbation. Except in a one nighter you have the danger of your hookup being diseased (with Herpes, the Clap or Insanity), obsessive, impregnated or they might just rob your house. What's the point if you two will never see each other again? The funny thing is that most of these people who do the whole one-night stand thing are adamantly opposed to online dating even though you really know nothing about the person you meet at the bar to take home and screw. How many healthy and lasting relationships have you known that started during a drunken encounter at PB Bar and Grill? These girls who meet guys at those bars always complain about how they never meet nice guys...um...you think that the nice guys are the ones who are approaching you and getting you drunk to bring you home? Nope...they are the ones who are at home on Taco Tuesday working on their next promotion at work or that paper on the History of German Democracy.
Since when is 25 the new 21 and 31 the new 25? Just because we live longer doesn't mean we should delay our professional and personal development for an additional 5 years. Then again, it does make it easier for those of us who are career-oriented. I am the youngest person in my office, and despite that, I am working on my licensing exams before my boss has even tried and she is 37. I just don't understand how people can be satisfied where they are when there's a way up higher. In my industry all it takes to get promoted is to take an exam related to a specific area of the industry, but there are so many here who've been working here for years and haven't even tried. It's not about money, it's about a challenge to yourself. When you're 75 you might look back on your life and say: "I wish I could've taken that promotion test when I was 25...or I wish I could've traveled the world" if you don't realize that the older you get, the harder it is for things to change. If you wait till you're 31 to start your career, you'll end up far below where you'd be if you started at 25. That 6 year difference might make it possible for you to retire 10 years earlier while you're still young enough to enjoy your time.
People who don't set goals for themselves never accomplish anything of worth. Things don't fall into your lap, you're not Prince Harry or Paris Hilton. Paris didn't become rich because she was famous, she got famous because she's rich. Try setting a deadline for yourself like: by 2007 I will have passed at least 3 licensing tests. You may not make it, but if you have that pending deadline, it might just motivate you to get more diligent. How can it hurt?
posted by Dan Pasternack at 11:58 AM
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